Team Guatemala

God is so, so faithful. Team Guatemala '08 is something else. Each is rich in different ways ... some quiet, others outgoing - keeping us all laughing. Everyone...everyone has some special to bring to this time of outreach - It's a real different mix of people...not just one age group which makes things really interesting - in a good way =)

Yesterday began with each person going off and spending time alone with the Lord for about 1 1/2 hrs - then off to Hermano Pedro to be with the kids - Dick Rutgers gave the grand tour then we took some of the kiddos there to Pollo Compero's (QUITE the treat for these kids!)
Today the team went into Guatemala City to visit about 4 different ministry sights - everyone was pretty excited about that =) ::: Despite the draw to the city ...Madi girl and I stayed behind due to the fact that she's not feeling so hot - but we DID get to go on a little playdate with Kelsey and Madi's two little friends Eliana and Andrew at McDonald's ... they were a wee bit grumpy....but managed to have some fun too. ;)

One of my favorite, favorite things about being here - is that time slooooows way down - and somehow, magic takes place - and you can fit everything in! - Go up on the rooftop and you find yourself surrounded by gorgeous mountains ....perfect for an hour of God time - walk out the door to La Botagona linking arms with a sister or two ... sister/shopping time! - head out across town, through Central Park and around a few corners of bright colored buildings - and you find yourself at Hermano Pedro ... full of kids just WAITING to be poured into - I mean seriously... can it really be called ministry if you're so in heaven while doing it? - hmm, I wonder! Then meet friends for dinner or coffee - amazing, amazing fellowship. We're a crazy bunch. - I wonder too, at the depth of bonding that seems to take place so fast. There are people here who I've known for all of four days ... and yet - somehow they're family. Crazy.

I'm learning tons too. - I know =) ...I think I say that in every post- what can I say? I have lots to learn! - but really ... God has just been zoning in on my pride like crazy - mostly my false humility ... using the most unlikely things and people to show me where I lack. Even my approach to God Himself - isn't one of awe. Adoration, yes - crazy, fiery love, yes - but a reverent awe....no - and He deserves it ALL - a lifetime of me on my knees worshiping isn't near what His splendor deserves ... so to take all of who He is for granted - is not acceptable. I was just a taaaaad bit convicted of all of this after reading Luke 7:1-10 - the story of the Jesus healing the Centurion's sick servant - Jesus was blessed by this man's faith ... I was astounded by this man's humility towards Jesus - wow! It's easy to forget His mightiness when He has humbled himself by joining us on this journey ...instead of just giving us a bunch of commands and just waiting for us at the end - but He IS mighty...what we know of Him - our understanding of Him ....is such a tiny portion in the scope of who He is. - It was crazy (how many times have I used that word in this post??) - I realized this shortcoming and was completely convicted...and really just began to ask His forgiveness - telling Him all that I loved about Him and how I DO stand in awe of Him ... but, in the busyness of life - forget to acknowledge how great He truly is.....

...and, in His usual gentle way - He spoke into my heart - "Peace. Be still. - I know"

I love those words. "Peace. Be still" - He has to forever remind me of them - and I never grow tired of hearing - such love!

I told Mel later that I love how He just understands it all .... how He understands and has so much more patience with our humanness and flesh then we do - and always...always there to love during and after conviction - I love Him.

::::::::

So Mel has my camera with her in the city - so I'll post pics as soon as I get it back =) hmmm...this was quite the rambling post! I'm not sure, but I think I got carried away...just a bit ;)

I'm Home.

And what's more... I'm home with my sisters.

United too with the newest Scott....

Kelsey. SO totally made to be a Scott!

I'm back with my children...

I have some fun, fun new friends who Mel has been telling me alll about that I finally got to meet

=)

Chris and Lindsey are SUCH fun -

Chris being pretty much an amazing songwriter :p - and Lindsey ... well I pretty much think that Lindsey is downright, outright, and TOTALLY "the heart of the volcano"

*grin* ;)

::~:: Andrew, Hannie, and Charnan arrived today and we spent the afternoon hanging out with Chris, Lindsey, and Kels - lovely!

I leave you with a peak into our little apartment. ....see - this is what I have to deal with everyday. ::::: =)

Enriched.

"...well the stars up in the sky, and the leaves in the tree

All the broken bits that make you trip up, and the grassy bits inbetween

All the matter in the world - Is how much that I like you"

~**~

:I had a wonderful conversation with a dear friend last night ...and another two with both of my sisters today (which, btw was hysterical...those two are scandalous! - and I love it!!) ...

:My day today was full of children. Every single moment with them counting for eternity - crazy how you FEEL the worth of time spent training them - like every moment ... is vital. You've got to catch onto everything ...be one step ahead and right alongside all at the same time - you have to (try) be intuitive, strong, gentle, firm, fun, welcoming, and safe alll in one - man, that doesn' t even cover a forth of it. You have to be everywhere and everything all at once - it's exhausting. and it's exhilarating. - motherhood must be beautiful and a little tiny bit terrifying.

:My week has been spent planning a weekend getaway for my folks - who are in much need of a break from the everyday... - it was delightful

:Everything ... from that daily craziness I find at home - to the longings in my heart to once more be on the field. from the soft Voice in my soul who is forever speaking Life into the reality of my walk - to the ridiculous amount of huge things that same Voice has brought about over the past 12 months. ...is fulfillment.

::With all of this... I realize again (I realize this all the time =) - how RICH life is...in all it's ups and downs - in the hellish and in the the heavenly - in the inbetween. ... We, each of us -are so RICH to be able to experience to be part of this incredible story, plan, and creation of this incredible God. I love knowing that no matter what conversation I have with ...no matter who - I come away different - with new thoughts to process...new feelings to absolutely treasure or have to deal through - It's odd to think that we probably change everyday...and yet aren't aware of much of the change that goes down. Well - I won't make that so general ... I'll make it personal and apply it to my own life. - but still ... takes me back to how vital the mundane is. The everyday, little "nothings" that we walk through without thinking - the nothings that shape us into who we are.

this is what I think: I think that God's goodness is evident no matter where you look. In every situation He reigns and is faithful in every aspect. I love Him with everything in me.

Seasons of Change

- I am a work in progress. I find this out at the end of every season…when God begins a new season - all over again. Life is about being a work in progress -I discovered it out again today.

Seriously...Sundays exhaust me. - there isn't a single solitary time that I don't go and meet God. Am I complaining? ...no - just noticing, really. Today was no exception. I went to church with no expectations but to do my normal routine. - and God used a situation to show me how inCREDIBLY human I am - ouch, ouch, ouch!! He spoke to me about how I take my identity in the things/gifts He's given me...instead of in Who I belong to. - he's been working on stripping away insecurities from my life ... and it's been a painful process. Today was no exception - man, He's just so deliberate about everything. I used to be able to wake up and be like "oh WOW...this has really changed - how on earth did THAT happen? Thank You, Jesus - you're incredible!!" - now...it's like He's got me by the hand - and just so we don't miss anything, leads me into areas that fall short and dig through them ....innnn...sllloooowww.....mmooottttiiiooonn. -

...if only I could be looking back already ... *sigh*

He's soo at work. He's attacking my flesh methodically, continually, uncomfortably... and articulately -every.single.day - I hear myself saying things and feeling things that I don't recognize - I hear surrender in my heart - as my flesh cries out against it. I cry...all. the. time. - seriously ...I'm so not a crier - kind of prided myself on not being the kind of women who's ...well- you know - "emotional." ...:p - yes well... ANYway ;)

It's here. The time of raw realness. - Nothing makes sense. Because I'm confused. But I'm scary close to Him - where nothing has to make sense except getting MORE of Him. I'm in pain. But through it...I've passed into yet a deeper sense of His presence. I don't have a leg to stand on -but I feel like I don't NEED a leg. I've got Him to carry me. I am flat on my face. And for once - it's a dwelling place....not a figure of speech.

- my flesh wants to run...my heart stands ready

yes. I'm right where I'm supposed to be - and it's good to be here.

...Welcome, Jesus.

*edit* ...so going back and reading this a few days later - I kinda came off as depressing. =) if it helps at all ... I didn't feel depressed when writing it - just ... thoughtful :)

My heart is full of love....

"To everything there is a season,

A time for every purpose under heaven"

....it's time to dance.

....sigh

... it's been a full, full three weeks. So good ....so full of life taking place before my eyes. -My dearest friend and sister - my Mel got engaged to a wonderful man last Saturday. OH it just fills me with joy for her!! there's nothing more I want than pure happiness and fulfillment in her life!! (thank you, Jesus!) God has been so intentional about putting them together ...stretching their story out over a course of almost 10 years. - I'm completely in awe of how He's gone about it all with such intricacy ... and now, more than ever - I know that when something is of Him ...there is no room for doubt - when His presence and blessing is all over something as it was with this - it is the ultimate - anything else is less than His best ...and time is too short to desire anything but His best. I also know that where His presence and blessing lie ...isn't necessarily where we think we'll find it or where we want it to be ... but oh- I wouldn't trade where I am now for anything - because here ... His peace floods me - and His comfort and grace along with it. What a beautiful, faithful God, this God of mine! I am satisfied - and restless for more...;)

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. ~Philippians

~**~

God has been taking me through such amazing processes - purging constantly ...always so gently. Today, on the way home from a weekend with my wonderful brothers - I was just soaking up time alone to share with Him things that had been on my heart lately - mostly about "next" ..."Lord, talk to me about this next season - I don't know what You have in mind. I so want a GOAL, Lord to press towards... but He stopped me in my tracks - "Stop talking and listen to Me" (lol...now THERE'S something I never hear :p) ...."oooook...?"

-It's crazy...those moments of utter TRUTH that He takes you through

- He began to show me a pattern in my life ...of goals to work towards ...and never- not once a season of just *being* - never a quiet season ...but always something to FILL that quiet - why? ...because for some reason - calm makes me nervous ....quiet is just too loud ... too full of uncomfortable realness between Him and I. - embarrassing to admit this fear ...I love Him so much... I TRUST Him so much ... yet there is something in me - that fears quiet with Him. "So", He said -"the 'next' you seek is that of standing still and seeking Me for no reason at all but to know more of Me ....Seek Me - and I will show you great and marvelous things that you do not know"

"I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me" -James

Ironic. The way He showed me this juuuust before I leave for Guatemala - the place where He always, without fail - meets me in mighty ways. - He's pretty much brilliant that way.