"Hungry I come to You for I know You'll satisfy"
It's been interesting, the time I've spent in the school. I've taught Engish to the big kids ... but developed relationship with the little ones. The little ones rip at my heart. They are so starved ... so desirous of their lives being recognized as worthy to be loved. Two of the ones I'm closest to - are Rosa (Rosita) and Yolanda. Rosa is the little stinker of the first graders. She's into more trouble than any of us would care to admit. - She's got a little glint in her eye 24/7 that says , "Be aware .. I AM as much of a monkey as I look" - She's probably all of 7-8 years old. ... but she's so much older than that. - there is a quote in Francine River's Redeeming Love that continues to come to my mind when I look into Rosita's eyes ... "Age has nothing to do with years" - Rosita dances ... but not the innocent dance of a girl who has been sheltered and proctected - she dances the dance of a woman ... a woman on the hunt for the attention of men - the dance of a girl who has undoubtedly been preyed upon. - her eyes are seductive and hips sway in such a sexy way, it's hard in that moment for me to believe she's only a baby. Such is a very typical way of life in Guatemala. A life lived before the first few years even begin to pass.
Rosa isn't the only child in the school that grabs my heart- My heart is firmly in the grip of a 15-yr-old boy named Abraham.
Abraham is insolent and will do ANYTHING to get my dander up - I spend half the time wanting to smack some sense and respect into him. - but then every once in a while he'll let that wall of defiance slip ... and I'll see what lies beneath the surface. - a little boy, who's scared and wants it to be ok to give and receive the love that, according to what I've gathered - he's never really had. That vulnerability that I see ... so rarely - that is what keeps me pursuing hope for him. Recently (as in a few days ago) - Abraham was kidnapped by armed men in suits ... and beaten up - because his father (who is a known drug dealer) had some sort of riff with them - Makes me sick and angry ... an innocent boy caught in the middle of grown men's lust for money and pleasure .... sickening. How this must grieve my Father's heart. - I'm caught in a frustrating place with Abraham. Unlike my little Rosita - Abraham would be considered an adult by Guatemalan standards - I can't have friendship with this boy since the dynamics would automatically be inappropriate - I'm his teacher ...and have to mantain a constant teacher/student relationship - one of authority and respect ... loving and firm. The best gift I can offer him is holding him to the highest standard ...pushing him always towards sucess and away from the sick cycle he's only ever known.
So much is offered to the people of Guatemala...to every life that inhabits the earth today - so much that promises fulfillment and pleasure. And every part of it momentary. All of it empty. To know that I belong to and am a tool of a Love that is, in itself ...ultimate satisfaction, fulfillment and joy - this brings purpose to every moment of my life. - We are here ... to shout "HE satisfies!!" - from every rooftop ..... we are here to prove His satisfaction to lives who have been disappointed time and again by dead promises. .... We are here to be hope extended. ....Let us take up and live this calling with all of our hearts before a lost and searching world. Let us not lose sight that we are under observation constantly .... The way we live - is the way we portray this beautiful, loving God we represent.
Rosa isn't the only child in the school that grabs my heart- My heart is firmly in the grip of a 15-yr-old boy named Abraham.
Abraham is insolent and will do ANYTHING to get my dander up - I spend half the time wanting to smack some sense and respect into him. - but then every once in a while he'll let that wall of defiance slip ... and I'll see what lies beneath the surface. - a little boy, who's scared and wants it to be ok to give and receive the love that, according to what I've gathered - he's never really had. That vulnerability that I see ... so rarely - that is what keeps me pursuing hope for him. Recently (as in a few days ago) - Abraham was kidnapped by armed men in suits ... and beaten up - because his father (who is a known drug dealer) had some sort of riff with them - Makes me sick and angry ... an innocent boy caught in the middle of grown men's lust for money and pleasure .... sickening. How this must grieve my Father's heart. - I'm caught in a frustrating place with Abraham. Unlike my little Rosita - Abraham would be considered an adult by Guatemalan standards - I can't have friendship with this boy since the dynamics would automatically be inappropriate - I'm his teacher ...and have to mantain a constant teacher/student relationship - one of authority and respect ... loving and firm. The best gift I can offer him is holding him to the highest standard ...pushing him always towards sucess and away from the sick cycle he's only ever known.
So much is offered to the people of Guatemala...to every life that inhabits the earth today - so much that promises fulfillment and pleasure. And every part of it momentary. All of it empty. To know that I belong to and am a tool of a Love that is, in itself ...ultimate satisfaction, fulfillment and joy - this brings purpose to every moment of my life. - We are here ... to shout "HE satisfies!!" - from every rooftop ..... we are here to prove His satisfaction to lives who have been disappointed time and again by dead promises. .... We are here to be hope extended. ....Let us take up and live this calling with all of our hearts before a lost and searching world. Let us not lose sight that we are under observation constantly .... The way we live - is the way we portray this beautiful, loving God we represent.
...Hungry, I come to You for I know You satisfy
